A Star Trek Quiz

Captain's Blog, Stardate: 3045.6

You are Captain James T. Kirk, stranded on an unnamed asteroid (which bears a striking though purely coincidental resemblance to Vasquez Rocks State Park just northeast of Los Angeles) with the reptilian captain of a Gorn ship that has just attacked and destroyed the Federation outpost on Cestus III. The two of you have been sent there by a race called the Metrons who despise violence but have rather ironically decided that they can help the two of you settle your dispute by pitting you against one another in a fight to the death. To further display their profound distaste for bloodshed, the Metrons have thoughtfully promised to destroy the starship of the losing captain, together with all its crew.

Through the recorder/translator devices that the Metrons have provided to both you and the Gorn captain, you hear the hissing voice of your opponent demanding that you surrender to him so that he might kill you. He promises that he “will be merciful and quick”. Since you are the intrepid Captain Kirk, do you reply:

A) “Boy Howdy, that’s the best offer I’ve had in weeks! I’ll be right over!”

B) “Uh, shouldn’t you buy me a drink first or something…?”

C) Nothing, but instead attempt to recall your basic chemistry to quickly produce gunpowder from the available minerals on the asteroid and fashion a bamboo cannon loaded with fist-sized diamonds to blast the Gorn quicker than Dick Cheney on a Texas quail hunt.

Answer:
(1.) If you chose A or B, you must stop reading blogs and seek psychiatric help immediately.

(2) If you chose C, see answer (1.) above.